I can’t quite believe how long it has been since I’ve updated this blog. I’ve actually forgotten how to write, which is strange because I have always loved writing. I started this blog as a way to remember every week of Luna’s life when she was tiny, but as she gets bigger, developmental milestones happen less often, although she pretty much amazes me every single day. But I doubt you’d be interested in hearing every single new word she has learnt.
I know literally everyone ends every year by saying “What a crazy year… blablabla…” but I’ve genuinely had such a weird year – in a good way.
I started the year with a 6 month old baby and a super duper motivated attitude to going back to work. That didn’t last long. Within a few weeks, the endless treks up and down the M4 taking Luna to nursery, expressing milk whilst driving (not recommended), expressing milk in the toilets at lunch time, racing back to pick Luna up, and collapsing into bed took its toll on me. I was so miserable in a job I used to love. I probably could have stuck it out but financially I was losing money. I didn’t really earn that much and nursery, petrol, train, and bridge fairs along with the money I’d missed out on whilst on maternity leave meant I had a negative net balance at the end of the month – not great when your partner is an accountant.
By February, I had sought and secured my first paid freelancing gig. I absolutely loved being able to earn money whilst relaxing on the sofa, or cuddled up in bed in the evening whilst Luna slept. Then, after one bad day at work, I did something stupid and verbally handed my notice in followed by a more formal letter after ‘sleeping on it’ over the weekend. Looking back, it was really stupid because our house was on the market and we were searching for our dream house. Having no job and no regular income would obviously mean not being able to get a new mortgage, especially one for double our existing mortgage.
However, I’ve always believed in positivity and applied ‘The Secret’ to every aspect of my life, so we powered through, found our dream house, used my payslips from still technically being employed, and moved house 3 and a half weeks after viewing the house. It happened so quickly I didn’t really have time to process my new life. I had my dream house with literally every feature I wanted: 4 bedrooms, dining room, utility room, garden, office and detached. But our mortgage had doubled and I had no job.
I understandably became obsessed with growing my business and taking on every single piece of work I could possibly find, at the detriment to my own health. I was so stressed and mentally drained that my work was becoming really poor and I suffered from memory loss. I was just going from day to day hoping I could survive but not actually knowing what I was doing. I missed meetings because I genuinely forgot what was going on in my day. I felt like I was in a dream where you just float around. I would cry myself to sleep regretting my decision to start my own business and apply for hundreds of jobs at midnight.
I decided enough was enough and in July I hired a life coach. I’d always been interested in coaching but to be honest I didn’t really know what they were or what to expect. But as the months went on, I started to sort myself and my business out, and by the end of the year I was in a much better place mentally and financially.
I’ve got loads of loads of New Year’s Resolutions but let’s be honest – I’ll have given most of them up by February. But the one thing I absolutely HAVE to stick to this year is to not take on more than I can mentally handle. But just incase I do stick to some of the others, here’s what I want to do/achieve:
- eat healthily and exercise (OBV – this is on everyone’s list)
- blog more and blog about more topics like lifestyle, business and home interiors
- play with Luna more following a child-led play approach
- learn basic graphic design and improve my web skills
- launch a new brand
- become financially savvy and SAVE what I don’t NEED to spend
- create a stricter work routine so I can enjoy a better work life balance
Let’s see how long these will last…